I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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