You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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