Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want to have your abortion
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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