Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
