Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
