i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
