Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
