About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
