I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize