I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
