And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
