He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
50% drunk capacity currently
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
