we made out on top of his cat.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
