if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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