It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
nutella sex= disaster
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
