I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
