I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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