Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
