We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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