if you like me you must not know who I am
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
