what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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