his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
