Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
