so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
