I wish my penis had an off switch
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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