this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Girls should come with a carfax report
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
