The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
