1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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