I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
birth control should be required to get into college
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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