I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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