I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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