One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
