There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
