whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
