she was so not down for the gang bang
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize