this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize