moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
