i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
