Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
