Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
