Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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