So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
