I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
