The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
