Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
