That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
