Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
