Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
