Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
