the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
