Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
