shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
