problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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