This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The feeling are messing with the penis
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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