mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
