CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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