I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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