We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
