I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
