Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
