okay pat passed out under dana's car
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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