i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
