k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
