Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
