He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
