that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
