At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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