That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
