JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
