Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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